One of my dear friends does a lot of leadership and coaching work, particularly with children. He is a powerfully positive person who has overcome a lot of circumstantial adversity in his life. He has also never been exposed to anyone with any kind of "emotional disorder", so he was extremely curious about my experience. He had a lot of questions, and played devils advocate but with a completely open mind. It was a fantastic opportunity to share my experience and support someone in gaining understanding of something that can be incredibly difficult to understand.
Lack of Choice
The first thing that was imperative to get across is the lack of choice when it comes to depression/mood disorders. If you're someone who's done any kind of personal development work, you may be familiar with the concept of everything being a choice. This is something I subscribe to with gusto - I believe that I have the power to choose my interpretation of any event in my life. Living that way is very empowering!
However... Any kind of mood disorder makes this a very grey area. Firstly, having depression is not a choice. Depression disorders take away the control you have to make a choice in the first place. This makes the argument "just pull your socks up and get on with it" a moot one. I love this quote, " Telling someone with depression to get over it is like telling someone with cancer to walk it off."
Depression is not a choice. Period. Depression robs us of the connection to our deepest Truth. It conceals it and paints it with it's own anti-truth - a disconnected, disempowered, eternally hopeless darkness.
But, like I said, it is a very grey area and everyone is different. It's impossible to know the level of choice or control an individual has in any moment. It's up to that person to be honest with themselves.
I was lucky enough to have a loving partner who knows me so well and who could hold up a picture of the Truth in any moment, even if the depression prevented me from seeing it.
The Complete Absence of Logic
One of the things that always struck me when I emerged from a depressive/anxious episode was the complete lack of logic or reasoning that I experienced throughout it. The way my brain would think and interpret events was often so illogical. But at the time, it made perfect sense. To my depressed brain, the way I thought felt like the truth (but it was that false truth, that anti-truth). But in the moment m that darkness was my reality. No, it doesn't make sense, especially to a healthy person - but remember, you can't argue logic or reason to a depressed person. The depression is blinding.
There's No Cure-All
As much as I would love for it to be true, there is no one thing that fixes depression. What works for me won't necessarily work for the next person. What worked for me one day may not work the next. There are so many factors that contribute to someone's mental health: nutrition & diet, mental health and stability (how you process things in your life), support networks and environmental and cultural factors.
The Take Away
My friend desperately wanted it to be simple; simple to understand, simple to identify and simple to solve. Unfortunately, it's not. Or, FORTUNATELY, it's not ;)
We as humans are infinitely intricate and complex. It's part of what makes us unique and beautiful. The difficulty of this "disease" means we have a massive opportunity to engage, connect and deepen our understanding of our fellow human beings. And, given the statistics on depression and suciicide, an opportunity to save a life.
Go forth and be a champion of Truth.
Thanks for the love xo
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