It's difficult for me to fathom that we are hurtling towards the end of 2014. TWENTY FIFTEEN IS COMING, PEOPLE!!! Un-freaking-believable.
Firstly, given the reason I started this blog, I think it only fitting to share that I have been episode-free for a glorious three months. I feel like I'm back to my best self, entirely. It's magical, and every day I am grateful for my mental health. So incredibly grateful. And every day I make it a priority to maintain this state with meditation, "Ultramind Solution" nutrition (see my post about that here), building and nurturing my social support network, and continued self-development.
Along my burgeoning spiritual path, one concept has become very relevant to me. And that is cultivating a sense of acceptance and detachment. My mantra being, "This too shall pass". Meaning, the joyful highs I am now experiencing will not last forever. I don't intend that in a negative way whatsoever. It's about approaching my days in a detached, open to what may come, ride the ebbs and flows of life with peace and ease way.
I recently attended a day-long Buddhist meditation retreat. The topic of the day was Living in the Moment. But ultimately the message of the day was the idea of impermanence. We meditated on the human instinct to grasp and cling onto things, anything. As infants, grasping is one of our primary instincts. As adults, we grasp at the past, we grasp onto the future and for one reason or another, we are often afraid to let go and be present in the moment. We grasp onto people and situations, ideas and values. According to one Buddhist scholar, "We will suffer in direct proportion to out grasping".
This entire concept resonates deeply with me. I feel a sense of peace when I sit with impermanence. Sometimes I experience a sense of fear or loss, but then I realize this is happening because I'm looking to the past or to the future. So I come back to the present moment, and back to that peace, that bliss.
This isn't a completely new concept to me. I requested of my partner to remind me whenever I was in the middle of a depressive episode that "it's only temporary and it will pass". Hearing this would remind me that there was hope for relief from the excruciating pain of hopelessness. Though, there were times when the "downs" would last weeks, when I might get a single day of feeling like it had passed, and in those cases the ratio itself felt just as hopeless. "Ok, so the depression might pass, but if the good state only lasts a day before that too passes back to depression... I don't know if it's worth it". It was a struggle every day to have faith. But I made it and I'm so very, very grateful.
I'd love to hear what it is that you grasp onto and what consequences it causes in your life. And is it something you're ready to let go of?
Whether impermanence is a new concept to you or this is simply a reminder, I wish for you that it wraps you up in a warm, comforting blanket of gratitude and bliss. I'm off to meditate :)
Love &Gratitude
Jas xo
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